Non-attachment

Anyone who knows me knows that the word "control" and I have walked hand in hand for years.

As a studio owner, a Pilates, yoga and dance teacher, and a movement therapist, I've got used to everything going through me. I know exactly where every weight should stand and how every one of your breaths should sound. Let's be honest – I'm a proud control freak.

But this week, as I said goodbye to teaching at the studio ahead of my maternity leave, the Buddhist concept of "non-attachment" stopped being a theory and became my physical reality.

What is "non-attachment", anyway?

At its deepest level, non-attachment is the ability to experience the moment without trying to "trap" it or define ourselves through it. It doesn't mean we don't care – it means we understand that everything is temporary.

When I tidied the studio for the last time this week, I realised that this business beats thanks to me – but it isn't me. The baby growing inside me reminds me every day that my body is changing, that my schedule is going to change, and that trying to hold on to the "old Bar" only creates frustration.

Where does it meet us in practice?

• In yoga: we learn it in every pose. Sometimes we cling to an image of how the pose "should" look. Non-attachment in yoga means accepting that today my downward dog feels a little less flexible than yesterday – and that's okay. We let go of the need for a result and surrender to the path.

• In Pilates: here it becomes very physical. In Pilates we work on control and precision, but there's a fine line between muscular control and unnecessary tension. Non-attachment in Pilates means working from the core while managing to release the jaw, letting go of the need to "conquer" the reformer or the chair, and letting the movement flow without overexertion.

• In movement therapy: as a therapist, I see how we cling to the stories we've told ourselves about our bodies ("I'm not sporty", "I have a weak back"). Non-attachment means agreeing to let go of that label and allowing new movement to emerge.

Letting go in order to grow

My last week at the studio was exciting and scary at the same time. For someone used to running everything, letting go of the reins and placing my first "baby" in other hands is the biggest lesson in non-attachment I've ever had.

I invite you – on the mat and off it – to ask yourself: what am I holding on to too tightly? Maybe a thought, maybe a role at work, maybe simply the need for everything to happen exactly your way.

Sometimes, only when we loosen our grip are our hands free to receive something new and wonderful.

See you soon (with a new status), Bar.